Saturday, December 22, 2007

Learn to draw Texino!

Hi Tomas Texino here with a valuable offer for the new year!  Be an artist! That's right.  You can live a wacky life style and make big money while your at it.

Now if you are like me, you will spend this Christmas all depressed wracking your brains trying to figure out when it all went South for you in the first place.  Then come New Years, you will become a raging drunk screaming at the sky about how THIS YEAR you'll show the fuckers!
Well show them dammit by becoming an artist like me.  Think about it for a minute.  You just do exactly what you want under the aegis (Magical Shield) of artistic license and people will be dying to hang out with you and be your friend or lover for all the wrong reasons.  Thanks OK because you WILL NEED TO GROW so once those bothersome romances come to a grinding halt because the "other" has figured out you are just like any standard issue slug on the street, except possibly more self centered and sloppy, there will be someone else who wants a bit of your magic and, if you play your cards right, your former fool will throw your keys at you and storm out and you will not have change the first lock!  There are many different types of art.  OK?
Well since drawing pictures is one common artistic genre, why not test you talent with the Texi-Test of Artistic potential and draw the "Cartoon Texino" boxcar tag. The very same "tag" that Texino left hundreds of places along the rails crisscrossing this great land as  he traveled here and there just doing things for "Kicks"  So lets start out with a nice clean piece of paper.  The kind of paper that a computer printer uses is just fine now take a pencil and draw a nice  flat figure 8 sign lying on its side.  Make it long too.  You can turn the paper sideways to make it easier.  In real life you would tag with a piece of chalk standing up so drawing that 8 would be very easy.  OK?  Fine. Now the next thing is draw an egg standing with its pointy end up and make sure the place where the 8 crosses it self is right about the middle.  Now you have Texino's head wearing a hat!  Pretty cool, but that's art for you.  All that is left to make old Texi come alive is draw some lines for his eyes, nose and mouth then make a line at the crown of his hat, put a smoke in his mouth and some smoke rings rising up and HEY NOW! It's Texino!
Are you an artist now?  Well, yes.  In fact you were an artist before you even took the test.

 il faut d'abord durer  Now go on and figure that bit of French out.  It's probably good advice artist or no artist, even if it did come from Ernest Hemingway


miguel said...

ppsttt ... don't let out my secrets!

miguel said...

by the by ... you're supposed to draw a parrot, or a pirate for the art test, not a panamanian despot!