Monday, September 29, 2008

The Pain from Spain or, A trip to the dentist.

Is it safe? That is the question I was asking my self at 0300 this morning as I lay a bed suffering from an abscess in my lower jaw. Of course that is the famous line delivered by Sir Lawrence Olivier to Dustin Hoffman in the film "Marathon Man" before and during the most chilling and visceral torture scene ever. "Is it safe? ",asks the kindly old man as he probes Hoffman's dental field til he finds a small cavity. Then the bastard lets him have it right down to the root with one of those picks that dentists use and Dustin about levitates. I never liked the dentist much in the first place, but after seeing that film, well two things: I've tried to keep holes out of my teeth and have know for certain that torture is really fucked up because "They can make you talk." I mean I know ways to hide a secret, but if someone really want's you to confess to some thing, they'll have you singing like a bird pretty damn quick. Anyway, last night, I felt as though Sir Larry had been at me for a couple of hours and even though I had some oil of clove, it was not working any magic like it did in that film. So, this morning I got up and took my medicines and by fortune some of them knocked the pain down. Still, I know the signs of an abscess and it can be dangerous what with your teeth being close by your brain, so I called the dentist and they said come on down. So I did. It wasn't so bad. My dentist is a whiz with Lidocaine and he can give you multiple shots without your feeling it. The tooth in question was one that had broken during one of my famous seizures and it had to come out. Pretty nasty but it didn't hurt too much at the time. It does now but not like it did. Now I just need a root canal on the tooth next door and I'll be good to go. That whole Dental thing is weird though. It's really the last part of medicine that involves torturous devices on a regular basis. The modern dental setup is designed where the assistant sits behind you and you can't see what she is getting ready to hand the Doc. This is just as well because even though they have digital x-ray and all sort of technical marvels. dentists still use all sort of clamps and levers the do their dirty work. It would seem as though medicine could come up with a sealant that would go on a persons teeth once the permanent set showed up. Do that and then the dentist can all become jewelers which is what a lot of them do for fun anyway. Then they could ditch the "Inquesition" tools for good.

Remember that film? Well turned out it was not safe because Dustin screwed up the timing of the bad dentist who, by the way was also a Holocaust Monster, and all of a sudden he's in the diamond district in NYC where there is no shortage of Jews, a lot of whom recognize the Doc from back in the day and the word gets out on the street. Things don't end up too good for the ex-Nazi.

Well that's that. After spending the last few years in bed, it was fun to get out even if a little torture was on the menu. Hope to talk again soon.

Saturday, September 27, 2008

Honest Injun

Sometimes I wish I could just say fuck this honesty crap and just sleaze down the road like a lot of other people do. Like today, for instance, I was fixing a computer
and I made a mistake. Then I made another mistake and fried the mother board.
Now this machine wasn't working when I took it in, so I could just tell the guy the board was shot, but no. Instead, I'm giving him the computer that I use for my studio because it's the same type only newer and a brand new one would not run some of the software he uses. I don't really feel good about this, it is just a thing I have to do. Wouldn't occur to me to do anything else. It's important to me that my clients feel that they can count on me. Got to stay true. You don't see very much of that in today's environment. What I mean is with the electioneering going on, it's like "It's OK to lie right now while I claw my way to the top, but after wards, I'll be OK and straight with you all. Honey, I don't buy it. You got to be crazy to want to be president. Obama, a born again visionary; McCain crazy old fucker who thinks he should grow up to be president. I used to sit on top of a bunker in Vietnam watching those jets heading north to bomb Hanoi. They were just flying up there and dropping bombs on the damn city and pissing people off. McCain is lucky the Dinks didn't chop his head off. I mean how would you feel if Florida and Georgia were arguing over some land and China started dropping bombs on Atlanta or Orlando.
They would most likely do Atlanta because they like Mickey Mouse too much. People don't know Jack aboout Vietnam either. Take Jane Fonda. She goes to Hanoi and has her picture taken. OK? Well every place she goes it's like some Anti-Aircraft installation, plus she went to see the prisoners, like McCain at the "Hanoi Hilton" which at the time the US did not know where it was. Now a bunch of dipsticks can call her a traitor, but I call it pretty good intel. People just don't use their brains very much. Not that I do such a great job myself, but I am always thinking and I love my friends very much, including the ones who are cross with me.
I'll be 61 on tuesday. I have given over celebrating. I had hoped that my friends might have noticed my turning 60 but I am too far out of the personal loop for that I guess. Looking back on the year it's funny. Last year at this time I was really full of hope musically. I was getting a new mandolin and had big plans for recording. Then right about now, I was Dx with Parkinson's plus Partial seizures. I started of medication that just flushed all the spontaneity from my life, I did not get the mandolin for six more months and then unfortunate issues came up which I did not handle well, and now the instrument has been put away for good. Recently, the doctors decided that maybe the reason I was laying up so much was because my heart was only beating around 40 times a minute. They want to put a pacemaker in me. I asked for a change in medicine and got it. Now, after two days on the new pill, I feel like I could lift a small motor car and today I spent the entire day on the go without lying in bed at all. That is a big deal. It would be a great deal if I hadn't of fried that circuit board. I guess I'm OK. Sure feel better than I did when I was taking that other pill. Possibly my head's getting more oxygen now that the heart is beating normally. Hell, if I don't die of old age, I might actully do something worthy. Watch this space.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Hello Columbus

Hi, I was just lying here on the bed thinking about how many times I had met Christoper Columbus, the Admiral of the Ocean Seas and the Lewis or Clarke of his day. Three times is the number, for the Admiral was a frequent guest of Captain Patrick Henry and his wife Sue who were neighbors of ours back in VA. The Henry's had lots of parties and if I hung over the fence long enough I'd be introduced to someone important. Columbus wore deep green velveteen with tights and puffy shorts a hat like a cake. He carried a stick with a silver tip and a carved likeness of Neptune for it's head.
Each time we met he would show me the carving of the staff and say "You know who this is boy?" "He is King of all sea and you gotta respect him." Truth is Columbus died a long time before Capt and Mrs Henry ever had a party. Still I remember standing by the back fence in the early 60s dangling my hand across the boundary like a bait fish and having it tapped by the admiral's stick followed by the Neptune statement. Of course this is probably a hallucination from my PD pills. I think I may have mentioned the thing about the books reading to me and other stuff. It's a weird feeling. I remember back when people in my circle were first getting high on pot, someone would always say "This is not like being drunk". Well having PD is just like being drunk. I even have a card to carry and it has "I'm not drunk, I have Parkinson's Disease." written on it in big letters. Last night, it seemed I was back in VA. spying on the Henry's party and there in the glow of the hurricane lamps stood Columbus holding the gathering in his thrall while making a point with an orange. Party tricks. I'll be needing a nap

Monday, September 22, 2008

My Man Wisdom Paradise

Yes indeed, that's Wisdom right there.  He's down in Fort Lauderdale directing light workers in a battle against the fear based storms set upon us by the "Dark Side." (Hurricanes)  What Wisdom suggests is that you surround these storms of fear and sweep them with your golden brooms into the Gulf of Mexico.  Once there, you should concentrate on dumping tons of ice into the center of the storm to calm it down.  Even though Hurricanes have been beating the crap out of the Caribbean and various Gulf coastal areas so far this season, Mr. Paradise claims it would be a lot worse were it not for his love based tactics.  What a croon.  Oh yeah, before I forget.  Wisdom Paradise loves you.  How much?  Enough to let you in on this secret advance fee loan scheme he has going.  Here's the deal.   Wisdom's higher self created this thing called the Aloha Success Club, a little investment deal that he guarantee's will pay off by year's end at a rate of 50:1. The minimum "loan" is $500 and the max is $10,000.  Wisdom says since the "loan" is already made you have no risk.  Of course this scam is used a lot. It's called the Prime Bank or HYIP scam and the people say that there are special prime bank loans available where big banks can loan money at shot term for high gain.  It sounds plausible but with big banks failing all over the place it is obvious BS.  Anyway, the scammer either says he is or knows one of the very few people who can make these loans and if he can raise some cash he can slip it in and let some regular folks get in on the deal.  Of course the "loan" never funds. and the scammer keeps coming up with reasons why it will be any day until people just get disgusted or have him arrested.  Actually these doesn't happen too often because these scams tend to be put off on people who are fanatic in their beliefs like churches or new age cults.  Point of fact, there are thousands of people who lost money in something called the Omega Fund and even though it's leader was arrested and confessed to the whole thing being a swindle and is currently in Federal Prison people believe the the Government is holding their Omega Packages which will be delivered any day and that even though they donated several hundred dollars in cash wrapped in tin foil, the current belief is this "prosperity fund" will be paying millions it not a billion dollars per person!  It was though studying this sort of thing on the web for the last few years that I came to the conclusion that the financial system was truly out of control and pulled my money from traditional investments.  I didn't have much mind you, but I would have had nothing.  At least I have some valuable  instruments and a bit of Jewellery. 

Back to Wisdom Paradise.  There is no way his Aloha Club can fund at 50:1  I'll be watching his site and let you know what he has to say.  Did I mention that Wisdom is immortal?   Wah Hay!

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Keep Smiling Sucker

OK, so Ms. Winehouse is at it again. Did a festival; was late; stayed up all night trashing the hotel and then having had a bottle of vodka for breakfast, had to be wrapped in a quilt and carried out to a waiting car. Well that's about as much as I can stand, so in aid of saving the world from another terrible star death I'm negotiating to have Winehouse boxed up and shipped to Texas where she will go to work picking cotton on half time and then spend the rest of the day under the guidance and instruction of Miss Martha Stewart at The Martha Stewart Ranch for Wayward Girls and Cotton Exchange. You all know I'll do anything for Miss Stewart. She's been damn good to me in more ways than I'll ever say. I've got my eyes on some more young ladies who might benefit from the Stewart treatment. Miley Ray Cyrus for one. Also that Nut Lindsey Lohan's not fooling me with her "Oh I'm gonna marry a girl" shit. She's a fucking actress and she's putting it over on that Ronson chick big time. Don't think Texino's hip to the Hollywood scene? Well you would be wrong. Sure I write for the Bluegrass rags cause that's where the money is. Don't mean I can't do a little A-listing when I need to. Ciao Kiddos

Friday, September 19, 2008

Funny thing about that email.

You may have read that those tricksters at Anonymous, whom I have absolutely nothing to do with, have hacked into Gov. Palin's email. Mrs. Palin of course is the Republican Party's surprise candidate for Vice President. My friend Trapper Stetson says Palin is analogous to an orgasm in that, at the moment, everything seems brilliant and wonderful, but then things fall back into perspective rather quickly. At's a pretty good analogy I guess and, what with Trap being a bit of a sex maniac, it makes all the more sense. Personally, I am damn sick of this election and by proxy being dragged into the lowest depths of humanity by smug fat necks because I have kept with my liberal philosopy. To put it politely, fuck those motherfuckers.

Oh the email. Well, I was looking at the list of Gov. Palin's messages and I noticed that every single one seemed to be a sort of letter. How odd is that? These days it is pretty damn difficult to maintain a personal account without receving the odd invitation to earn a million in someone's get rich program or surprise this surpised looking woman with a "bigger penis". On that note I'd like to say that the surprised penis woman looks a lot like my daughter. I don't know if you have gotten this ad, but it shows a clean cut blonde woman in her 30s looking at you as if she had just seen something unexpected but not really scary but maybe a little unerving. I guess since the caption to the add says "Suprise her with a bigger penis!" the look is supposed to convey "Where did you get that big penis?" and "You gonna try to put it in me!!?" "I am not too sure!" Actually, to me it's the sort of look my daughter would get if you gave her a Harley Davidson or a washing machine that ran on atomic power. She wouldn't like it. It's really too bad we don't get along, as I'd love to ask her opinion. Anyway, Mrs. Palin has no spam at all which tells me that her Yahoo account was probably pretty new. This also suggest Palin herself is not that old. Perhaps she is a clone of Ted Nugent and Church Lady. You got to remember, lot of weird stuff goes on up in Alaska. (You might keep this in mind, Clones don't get spammed.)

Well that's it for me and Mrs. P's email. As far as the election, I'm glad that you don't have to tell who you vote for. I've been having some fun (my kind) with canvasers. They come to my house and since Mrs. T. is no longer here, they get me. McCain people: I ask them if Palin is his wife. They say she's the VP. I say, what's that? They explain. I say, hogwash a gal can't be president, it says so in the Constitution and the Bible! The leave. Obama folks: I ask what part of Alabama is he from? They say Obama is his name. I say, that sounds like one of them silly names colored guys make up in prison. They get nervous. I say he looks just like Joe Bidden. They say that is Bidden and this is Obama. I say, but he is a colored guy! They get mad. It's a complex issue here in the south. Black people have an important culture, but it is not particularly high tone. When someone gets to be like Sen. Obama, he or she is no longer black. If you want a real black person for president get B.B. King. I'm not saying he would be the best choice, but he is an actual American Negro where Obama is an actual African/American. I want to see the poverty cycle broken for blacks in the south, but I don't want their magic and soul to be absorbed. I guess I am a racist in that I recognize the difference and respect the sub culture that has given us more that we will ever admit. I have said this before and it's true; I have to live near moving water and black folks they give me stuff that lets me see a long way. I don't think Alaska has much nor does Arizona.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Oh man, those Arabs!

Now I like hot and dry weather and fresh orange juice as much as the next guy, and a flowing robe with a trick burnoose is more than likely a comfortable garment to wear, while scooting around the desert or lurking in the twisted shadows of a midnight oasis, however; this time those wacky Arabs are pushing my buttons to the point where I want to don my T. E. Lawrence Motor Goggles and invite Ms. Winehouse to a pub crawl in Riyadh. Here is why. One of those pesky Saudi Clerics has put a contract out on Mickey Mouse. (That's Mickey over there) You got it. He put the word on Tom and Jerry too. Not the cartoon hobos who Simon and Garfunkle took their original name from, but the Cat Mouse who are always messing with one another. Actually, I believe this cleric thinks T&J are two mice.
The point behind this, and there is one of course, and of course it has to do with fundamental religion is this: Mice, both live and in pictures are soldiers of Satan. They are unclean and should be killed. According to the holy book of Mus or whatever the Muslim people read (The Koran) "If you have solid food and a mouse gets on it, get rid of the part that the mouse was on-kill the mouse." "If you have liquid food, like soup, and a mouse falls into it, toss it out-kill the mouse." OK fine. Now, what does this have to do with the world's most famous mouse? Well, children love him and because of that, Satan is very happy. Get it? Now, I'm certain this Cleric would really like to burn the eyes out and cut the hands off any child caught wearing mouse ears under his headdress or her garment bag (Arab woman's dress) but the world is not exactly full of real Arabs and they can't afford the wholesale slaughter of their next generation. Ergo, the mouse goes. Thing is, The Mick is pretty well off. In fact if you were to take the Mouse money and hook it up with the McDuck fortune, you could probably put a mortgage on the House of Saudi. I mean go ahead and burn all the flags you want, we can get more from the great flag houses of China, but don't for one minute start messing with the leader of the club. Know what I'm saying? Your kids can't tell the difference between a plague rat and a cartoon character? Time to get out of the sun my man. I like everyone to the point of giving him or her an even break, but this destructive stone age philosophy has got to go before someone gets pissed off enough to push a button and doom the day. Should that happen all the mice, rats and other unclean things you postulate will truly be something to fear. Take that Johnny Arab!

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Edditing out hallucinations

I have a feature due tomorrow. I sent it in Friday. The Editor says she has it and is sure it will be fine, but she has not cleared it yet. I know she is very busy and she rarely messes with my stuff. Still, I want to hear that it's good or acceptable and not have to rewrite it tomorrow. I guess that's what happens when you are a low rent journalist. I probably should have started pushing my work earlier because I was a better writer before I started having seizures and taking brain altering drugs for PD. Here is an example. If I am tired and have been reading, I can put the book down and close my eyes and then my brain will start hallucinating a review of the book. This would be OK except the review seldom draws a parallel to what the book is about. For instance, I may be reading about adventures at sea. I put the book down and close my eyes and suddenly my inner voice will start in with something like: "This is a high pressure shot of realism dealing directly with the cutting edge of modern nursing." Or; "Aircraft service at this level is requires an engineering degree as well as the math skills of a leader in the field of optics." and on ad nauseaum until I take some sort of pill or just beat it out of my head by thinking about giant diesel engines. I guess these spells can be a lot worse. I just wonder where they come from. Like, my editor got her eyebrow pierced. I saw it in a picture. We have never met. I wrote and asked her if it represented a hinge and could she open her face? Boy did she get pissed off.
It was just like that movie Annie Hall. Woody Allen does all these things that Diane Keaton thinks are funny. The he tries them on other women and they don't get it. I think I used that open the face gag before some place and it must have worked. It's too bad because I sort of have a crush on my editor, but that's a blown deal now. Oh well, on the other hand I could have just hallucinated the whole issue that it was funny. See what I mean? You got to be careful. Especialy right now because my partner and care giver has decided to take a tour of the great American West and I don't know when she will be back. Being alone in this condition can be a little nerve wracking. I might write here and say whats up but I have the feeling Im not getting read much these days. At's OK. I have to write wheter it gets read or not. It's just the way it is.

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Happy Birthday Amy!

Hi, I am Texino and this is Amy. Even though Amy looks sort of feral, she is, in fact, a recording star. The reason Amy looks so mad in this picture may have to do with her showing up two hours late to perform at her local pub. The place had been packed, but people got tired of waiting and a bunch went home. Well Amy's mad cause they didn't hang around, even though she was two hours late and evidently too drunk to sing . Hmmm. I think someone has some reality based issues. A sad situation to develop on a person who is just 25 years old. Says on the internet that Drs have informed Ms. Winehouse (Amy) that if she doesn't stop smoking, drinking and doing the hootchie-coo, she will die. I wonder if she is taking these warnings to heart? I have heard some music by Amy Winehouse and she has talent. Talent should not be so scary as to do this to a person. I used to smoke and drink too much, so I just stopped. My Talent level stayed up and I didn't feel badly. Thing is, I don't think people really cared so much what I did, while Amy W has a lot of fans. Id hate it to be turning into one of those scenes where folks says how come a bubble head like Texino keeps hanging in there while talented Amy Winehouse passes on. But check it out, I saw a picture of Amy earlier in the evening of the same scene and she seemed like she could not walk and her eye makeup was all scaballated. Now look into her eyes. Beside the obvious fact that she is the love child of Beatle George Harrison and Rolling Stone Mick Jagger, those are not the eyes of a drunken coked out party person. Believe me, I have seen those bad eyes plenty of times looking back at me in the mirror. That girl has her mind on something, be it world domination or the last
nacho, it is hard to tell from this angle. I hope she can hang in long enough to make for an interesting story though. I believe that today it is her Birthday. (25) So now I have Amy Winehouse and "The Box" to keep tabs on. Right now "The Box" is in Ireland. (still full of whiskey) Don't worry I'll keep you informed. It's my trade.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

The Box

Our friends at BBC, the fun TV have got a new reality show here on the internet, and boy am I stoked! The "Box" is a 40' shipping container fitted with a GPS device so we can follow it around for 1 years time and see where it goes and what it takes with it.
Now the Box is red and has got BBS on it just like the icon in the picture. I'm not certain how wise this may turn out because when you click on the box icon, a little menu appears and tells you what's inside. For instance, the box came ashore in South Hampton on 9/8 and to Glasgow on the 10th where it sat empty until today. Now, it is filled with whiskey and will be heading out to Asia (most likely China or Japan) where Scotch is consumed in great quantities. It will be interesting to see how long it takes to get there and if pirates read the Internet and try to get the booze. This is the special report website as the box starts it's first journey. Kind of interesting that it is going all the way back to South Hampton to catch a ship when Glasgow is a fairly big port once famous for it's ship building and turning out fine engineering officers. (eg. Scottie on Star Trek) Of course the days of the triple expansion steam engine are long gone with today's container or "Box" Ships relying on giant diesel engines which run at low RPM but drive the huge ships through the ocean at speeds approaching 30 MPH. The fact that these boats are too large for the Panama Canal causes them to reach the East by traversing some risky waters where Pirates lurk in fast boats which can run up on the large container ship, toss a grapnel and climb up to the deck just like a monkey! Once there, they may take the crew by surprise and rob the ship of cash and cigarettes and if they can get a cargo manifest, possibly break into certain containers of value. So far, the pirates have not harmed too many people on large ships for fear of bringing heavy security into play. The problem exists that the largest merchant ships may not have very large crews, sometimes as few as 10 or 12 and they are loath to shoot it out with marauders preferring to set up guards with fire hoses at several points while passing through areas of known activity. Still, ships using the Red Sea to gain the Suez Canal must pass Somalia which is virtually lawless as well as some areas of the Indian Ocean where sea crime is rampant. All in all modern pirates are not nice and seem to have very bad manners when dealing with smaller boats often killing the people and dumping them overboard. Kind of like pirates of old actually, they just don't take big boats because they are very expensive to run; they buy fuel by the ton and talk about gallons per mile. So, it will be fun to see if the "box" gets where it's headed with all that grog. Now you might be asking yourself, "How does Texino know so much about ships?" Well, I was at one time part of the crew on a boat in New England that went to sea and caught lobsters alive alive o! Then I was a crew member on an actual Tall Ship. But aside from sailing and motor boating like everyone else, I have no idea why I know so much, maybe I went to sea some place else. Stephen Hawking says the fact that gravity is not a constant like electricity is suggests that there are other dimensions and times possibly in parallel or close by our own reality. Could be I escaped. Truth be told. I don't think I am very much like other people. I wish I was, but I'm just not. I don't have time to explain right now. Watch the box.

Thursday, September 04, 2008

They're Back

Yes we have seen these angels before. They have been around this year, hanging out while good people fought to live but did not and, faithful animals were given over because you can do that. I can't say the angels have been much comfort. They just float there in black with their hands welded in the prayer position. I've seen those angels on the old tombs of our fervent forefathers who, running from one religion for another, more of less fierce, would place the angel duet to guard their crumbling bones from Ascension into the wrong Heaven. What an embarrassment to die a strict member of the Society of Friends and wake to the Bar-B-Q howdy of the Southern Baptist. So yeah sticking those angels on your stone makes sense to a certain segment. But not to me and not right now. Here is why. Over the weekend My friend Karen was at the market selling her shirts. She made beautiful shirts. I have some and I wore them all the time when I played music out. My favorite was a green one with Geckos on it. Well, Karen took a pain in her back so she went and got a massage from the massage person at the market. Then she went and sat in her chair. She never got up. Someone realized something was wrong and an ambulance came along and resuscitated her, but she was gone from the standpoint of having brain function.
Life support was discontinued and that was the end. Now those little angels rise up in my mind.
And Karen Donley? A wonderful tailor, mother, wife, friend, artist and all the extra credit those things attract. She left town on a holiday weekend. Oh I hate those times. Tooth ache; car trouble; the need for a doctor or legal council. Holiday weekend will get you every time. I'm going to look for Karen in my dreams. I often run accross departed folks in that ever changing scape and since and am more cross than grieving at the moment I may pick up some information. If not, Ill just be content with the feeling that if there is a place to end up after death I am likely to land in Karen's neighborhood. I'll know by the shirts.