Wednesday, December 23, 2009

40

the news reads that the popular kid's show "Sesame Street" will be 40 or is 40 or has been 40 for some time. 40, that is a grown up age. It doesn't bother me because I have been 40 for quite some time. Where the problem lies is 40 years ago I first heard my daughter sing the blue note in the Sesame Street song, and I realized that she would have talent. I lost both of my kids to my late wife's family. They came back into my life in bits and pieces but then my son got his hands on some of the adoption papers; ones which made me out to be a bad parent. Well duh, if I had been I good parent, I wouldn't have let them go now, would I? I wanted things to work out but I could not fit in. My daughter invited me to her wedding and then let me twist in the wind. I left early. My son didn't bother. The point of this exercise is to let you know that you can be hated forever for no real reason. I did not abuse my children or anything else my son thinks he has read in a one sided investigation that was not for him to see. So my girl is 40. Some of the characters on Sesame St. have died. I'm 62 and have a couple of incurable maladies and a few I can manage. My children have made it plain that they don't care how ill I may be, so I don't count on seeing them again. I guess this is just my admission that I will end up as nothing. I have seen this happen before, but the victims seemed to deserve it more. That's the bug, maybe I do deserve to die forgotten and I just can't see it. It is scary that's all I can say. I hate to bring anyone down, but that's the way it goes
T. Texino

9 comments:

GrannyPam said...

By this writing you have proven you are not the person your children believe you are. I hope they live long enough to learn that.

texino said...

Thank you Pam. I know I am just feeling sorry for myself and that is not a positive attribute. Also bringing it up at this time of year is a bit of a cheap shot. Oh well, I write what I know and I tell the truth.

Anonymous said...

My adult children also blame me for everything wrong in their lives. I also felt guilty but not any more. They had good lives and were loved. Lots of kids with less have forgiven their parents and grown up not resenting the mistakes of their upbringing. Yours need to thank you for life, for what you did give, not what you didn't. You goodness shows through in your feelings, but needs to turn around and realize that they are making their lives without a significant part of their past.

Sergei said...

Browsing through. Like your style, though it seems you need to get out more. Introspection overdone is NOT good for the soul. Look outward, angel! You Americans are so amusing.

Jud said...

Dude I hope you don't own guns, or a wand. Your pixture makes you look like a mad Merlin, ready to turn me into a toad!

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jessemason1972 said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
texino said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
jessemason1972 said...

You are a fucking joke