Thursday, May 03, 2007

Ways to write " la la la."

OK, this is a picture of my band, "the hoodoodads"

Now, if I am standing on the corner,often the southeast corner for some reason, and someone comes by me and says;
"Tomasthatistheworstexcseformusicihaveheardplusallthosemenarenaked" and so forth. Well, I can just place my fingers in my ears and say, "La la la la la la" until the person leaves. This is not really nice behavior, but it gets the point across and may also serve to keep any lurking LDS Missionaries at bay.

But what's an hombre to do when he receives a letter from the ether that proceeds to list his deficiencies in such a way that the writer would set off the La La defense were he or she on the scene? Well here are some bon mots which have served me well in years gone by, and please understand that this tactic is not meant to deflect serious criticism, just the type that often comes from that set of cranks who monitor blogspace and are overly quick on the trigger so long as they enjoy the protection of the anonymity gun.

First there is the simple though somewhat opaque; "Your Butt Hurts!" as in, "You are so full of 'it" that..." To me this trumps the more direct and pushy statement, "You're full of shit!" or the modified "You're so full of shit, [that] your eyes are brown."

Another zinger. Would be to answer in the manner of one to whom English is not the mother tongue. This is easy for me of course, but anyone with a sense of humor should be able to flummox the situation quite well. A clever off shoot is to pretend that you see the critique as a compliment and carry on from there.

If you tend toward the sadistic, you might use "The straw that broke the camel's back" gambit. Here, you simply go off on a ramble about how much your writing means, and how it has kept you sane and much less violent toward yourself and others. Until now! You get the picture.

Here are some other things I have employed:
; Act like you have been given a prize and your tormentor is trying to claim your share; Pretend they are a restaurant responding to a bad review and explain why you will employ your position to make sure they are shut down.
Confuse, then conquer.

I found while operating as Texino on the bluegrass list that the majority of folks could be won over if you were just nice. Trouble was Texino was not supposed to be nice. Well it is just a thing. You be a writer or poet, people going to bump you around some. The worst thing you do to a net person who wants to torment you and not stop is tell that person you have had the last word and you will no longer acknowledge his or her existence. That'll show them.


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