Friday, October 03, 2008

It's "Hoss" not "Horse"

I guess that you people wouldn't think that I, Texino, would be buddies with Eric "Hoss" Cartwright, but think again. Really, how many chicken dinners do you think it would take to get a guy like Hoss on your side? Well the answer is two.

I was riding the range out Nevada way, when I came upon the friendly giant. He had been wounded while fighting bushwhackers and was out of his head with fever. Well fortunately, I had a couple of hens on me and my saddle bags were full of ingredients so after giving the big man water and listening to him rave about his dead mother, I fed him two full chicken dinners. (portioned) After that, he was OK and we had coffee.

The next day, he took me home to his ranch to meet his family, but I did not take to their fascist ways and spent most of my visit hanging out with a Chinaman in the cook house making up recipes for chicken cooked Chinaman style. They had no chickens in China back then, so this Hop Sing guy (The Chinaman) must have sent some back home because there are quite a few chicken dishes in Chinese cooking now. I guess you might say that I was sort of the Johnny Appleseed of Chickens. Funny how you could take a bird that was previously only used for helping women deal with life in the pre-suffrage era (they just chopped the head off to let off steam, although it occasionally went a bit farther-see the case of Massachusetts vs. L. Borden) and for it's feathers, and turn it into one of the most popular and imitated tastes in the world.
Please remember that anytime someone says "It taste like Chicken" that were it not for me, it would have been someone else whom you don't know.

As for the Cartwrights, other than Hoss and Hop Sing, I didn't like the others and they didn't like me. I believe that the Ponderosa may have been the birthing chair of the Right Wing
Republican Party. They loved their (Portioned) chicken dinners though.

No comments: