Looks good doesn't it? Damn right it does! Ever wonder where the chicken dinner came from? Your mom? Grand Mother? Oh they cooked them I'm sure and, no doubt, they did a fine job. But, did you ever stop to think whose idea it was to take a chicken to pieces, cook it and then serve it up with a double starch and some greens? Well, I'm here to say that I'm the guy. That's right. Me, Tomas Benito Texino, El Niño the inventor of the modern chicken dinner. Huzzah times three and a big trombone riff! For truth! Now, I know you ladies. (boy do I) and right now you are saying something to your selves along these lines. "That Goddamn Texino is so full of beans!" "Why my female forebears were chopping the heads off chickens when he was a scumdrop* at the bottom of the Panama Canal." (*note; "Scumdrop" is a Texino word.) Well OK fine, so yer grannies were killing chickens. Of course they were. How in hell do you suppose those poor women kept from murdering whole sections of town what with all the crap they had to put up with as second class citizens who just happened to be more intelligent than the guys running the show. Hey sisters, I'm with you all the way! I just happen to have created the portioned chicken dinner as we know it today and there is not a thing I can do about changing that. I mean it is not like I am asking for a monument of me examining the future with my gaze while holding a plump hen. I just want a little respect. I mean, I may have been born yesterday, but it was 61 years ago and I can tell when I'm being left out. No it would have been pretty easy for certain people whom I love to just drop me a simple line of congratulation of completing one more year, but no couldn't do that. We OK, fine. Keep your greetings to your self because as the inventor of the portioned chicken dinner, I have too many responsibilities to worry about without letting a couple of snubs by the most important people in my entire world get to me. I mean we have all manner of media functions to attend, for when you have done something of such magnitude ( as invent the portioned chicken dinner) your influence reaches far beyond the coop. We have potatoes and squash, Lima's, applesauce and countless other avenues to put in our shadow. Not to mention a nice pie for desert.
OK, got to go now. We are working on something new in the area between cheese and milk and I for one, am too fucking excited to care about anything else right now.