Monday, August 27, 2007

You can't Roller Skate in a Buffalo Herd

Actually, I think that should read, "Herd of Buffalo."  It doesn't matter too much because the real title here is, "Don't ever try to have a serious or emotionally charged conversation via email."  You may know this already. I should know this already as well, yet I did it anyway.  Today.  A little while ago.  Now you would think that as a guy who is used to editing; i.e. these blogs are usually 4 or 5 times larger than what finally escapes, I would not send off a foolish "Well if that's how you feel, then..." ultimatum, but I did.  In fact, I read it three times and felt pretty smug about my position as the yellow " your message has been sent bar" flashed on the "gmail" screen. ( suggest that be changed to "your fate is now sealed.") In fact, I felt so satisfied that I had said and done the right things, I went back and reread the email which had caused my "Take that!" response.  I guess in my self righteous state of self rightness, I had missed the part where the person with whom I had become disagreeable, was, at that moment, en-route to my house in aid of putting things in order. OK? Not fine. Because why?  Well for one thing, I had no idea whether X had read my "clever" response and for two, I was in my underwear. I don't know about you folks, but I rarely set out to conquer an issue in paisley boxers and a "wife beater." Face it.  In general, if you are thusly clad, negotiations have been completed and you are on you way to make, well,  "romance."  So, you might ask, "Hey Texino, why not get dressed?"  Good point. But, wait!  This X was probably too sophisticated to either berate or kill a person in his skivvies, plus if the Cops were to see a fellow hightailing it down the path in a singlet and colorful shorts, they might take me for a runner out for a jog and not the fool I was fast proving myself to be.  Well, as it turned out, no friendships bit the dust.  OK? Fine, for now, but I need to remember that this email is like a gun in that once you fire it, you can't bring the bullet back, and it is not like a gun in that, you will hit your intended target 100% of the time.  I guess when something is just like something and, at the same time, not like it at all, it deserves your total attention.  I really am glad I got that thing fixed.  Now, let's make some money.
Hey! You ever wonder about Martha Stewart?  You know?  She knows everything about anything, right?  Well how about sex?  Bet you never thought about that did you?  Well that's why I'm the Texino around here, so don't let it bring you down.  Now, I figure if Marty were to put out (?) a sex manual it would just fly off the shelves. And, check this out: She's done "Time" so she most likely has something to tell everyone, if you Steely Dan fans get my drift. No point in skating around the subject, I always say.  I'm certain I have her email address here at the lab.  "What about that big lecture about being email nice?" you ask.  Well that's for friends, this is straight (?) business. Totally different thing; people stepping on other peoples heads and all kinds of sport.  Watch this space.


downtown guy said...

I personally know at least three people who would buy Martha Stewart's sex book. She could follow it up with a cable show. Sex: It's a Good Thing.

Ms. Moon said...

I don't know. Just putting "Martha Stewart" and "sex" together in the same sentence sort of make me feel a little faint.
I'll bet you anything she's explored the possibility, though.

texino said...

A lot of people have brushed off my infatuation with TV's Miss Stewart and subsequent belief that she can really "lay it down" as being just crazy. I say "The Contrary!" and may have to infuse some evidence into the whirl.

Thank you,