Saturday, October 27, 2007

Here's a damned lie

Sometimes, I get to a point where I say, Texino you should really put an end to some nonsense or other that has been bugging you because if you don't no one else will.  Well that's what brings me to Lagos Nigeria this evening.  Lagos as you may or may not know is the internet scam capitol of the world.  I'm not talking about the big prosperity hoaxes like the Dotson Project or the Omega Fund, no these are by and large the crazy letters you get where someone wants you to stand as next of kin in order for them to get their hands on some unclaimed cash some of which you will get.  People do fall for this and before they know it they have either given the scammer their banking info, so he can deposit their cash, but he has instead withdrawn their savings, or they have entered into an endless round of nickel and dime hold ups where this person or that official must be paid.  Either way, you will only loose.  No comes some stuff with a little more sophistication.  Take that document on the left.  Comes right from the IRS and says you have a refund of $147.59  so just click here and we will pop it right in the bank. OK?  We no it is not because they are asking you for debit information which means they (whoever they may be) may debit you account for how much they want (or you have)  Pretty slick, Huh?  Sort of.  It's the same thing you see with phony PayPal and other bogus sites.  They look real enough but you don't notice they direct you to some separate place where they harvest your identity information in an effort to clean out your accounts for you.  How do they do it?  Look so real?  Well, you can look at HTML source code right in your browser for one, plus there are programs that will allow you to copy websites and edit them for your own use.  That's what has been done here.  Just copy a standard IRS site with it's links and all and then add your own bit in there that says something about finding this refund.  Of course the real IRS would send you a letter and call you by name. Plus they would only respond to a refund from a tax return and not just come up with some number out of the blue.  Also the IRS rounds off to the nearest dollar amount and they know your SS# etc.  Still some poor Bosco out there who needs a buck forty seven is going to fall for this and that's why I'm risking my butt in Marly's temporal velocipede to get over here to Africa and put the brakes on this mess.  My plan?  Oh that.  Well, I have brought the Cannibals O' The Glen with me from Panama.  For those who may not recall, The CO'TG are a Scottish dinning society who were run off from Scotland for refusing  eat a ceremonial Haggis with England's Prince Philip  citing an ancient rule that "No Man will taste of The Haggis that The Haggis might best in a trial of wit."  Well  while the notoriously thick headed Prince was no stranger to smart aleck snubs, he vowed not to be bested by the likes of a stuffed sheep's gut, so while The Clan snickered into their single malts the Prince had The Haggis proclaimed "The Living Symbol of Highland Cuisine" and therefore it's ritual consumption became the highly illegal crime of Cannibalism.   This under publicized event was what brought former "Consumers" now "Cannibals" of The Glen in to our Panamanian precincts.  I must admit, however, that we actually thought they had come to the jungle to practice lunching on "Long Pig" and since we live and let alone down here it was a while before we got that bit sorted out.
Anyhow, the COTG have become an integral part of our happy hoedown society and I'm certain they will do yeoman duty over here. 

Now I don't suppose I can just go around Lagos with a small army of Scots (in full tilt kilt) shouting "alright you scammers meet me at the main train station and bring the money or we'll
eat you alive!"  Maybe, I could get Sam to start putting shipments of those big black pots through the portals.  You know leave pallets of them stacked all around town to show that we're looking to render down the situation as it were.  At least we are trying which is more than I can say for your secret polices.

This is Texino and I'll be back with some tips on revolutionary police work and possibly some recipes.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           

1 comment:

miguel said...

Thanks for the alert ... I'm currently safe though as my money for speculation is tied up trying to help a Liberian get $302mil of of a US bank ... i stand to get a healthy cut .....