Sunday, September 09, 2007

Der Bingle

Hi it is Texino and I am trying to write something, anything, but I am not having much luck because  Bing Crosby is on the TV close by. "Bing" is starring in a film that requires him too use his considerable vocal talents, however; rather than camping it up with the noxious Bob "Going to live to be 100 years old" Hope who at this juncture may still be in The UK boxing beneath the name "Packy West," Bing is pitting himself against different musical genre some which he can handle i.e. sappy ballads, pop tunes of the day and whistling interludes and some which he cannot; specifically singing Jazz with Louis Armstrong who, in the 1930s was Commander in Chief of Negro Music.  We get Crosby sing/saying "Come on Mr. Trumpet Man!" Armstrong plays some trumpet riffs to which Bing has a very stiff and white person answer that sort of goes "Bom boom  bombom boom bom bom" To which Mr. Trumpet Man replies "Zat zoot re bap be bop bop a re bop." Remember, I am not watching this movie, but I have a queasy feeling that as Bing is singing "Now you've heard that Trumpet Man..." he is dancing around waving his index finger up in the air.  You know what I mean.  I still don't know the name of this film but I'm thinking it is one of those vehicle movies where a studio puts a lot of well known people in support of the star. Like Louis Armstrong and I'm certain I heard Shirley Temple in there and the Harmonicats as well. Now it's over.  I'm still at a loss, so I'll just talk about what a dick Bing Crosby was.  Was he a jerk?  Hard to say since we did not hang out. Turns out, he was probably pretty decent for a big star.  I think that Bing was pretty complex and like a lot of successful men of his time just did not make a good dad.  I mean not only was Bing a famous singer and actor, but due to his vision in the recording industry, we got magnetic tape recorders and video tape and all kinds of cool stuff.  In other words he worked hard to improve his business.  Something else.  He may not have been able to keep up with Armstrong as a Jazzbo but they were good friends and evidently they both smoked a lot of pot starting back when it was legal and advocated it's decriminalization.  Bing was a big Republican, but not stupid.  Remember seeing him on those Orange Juice commercials back in the late 60s?  Minute Made?  He was big into that business too. Not stupid.  He had a bunch of kids from two marriages.  Boys and girls.  The first bunch had four brothers who tried to make it in show biz.  You probably remember one of them, Gary.  He was a cop on Adam-12, an old TV show about cops and sometimes he played a character on Dragnet.  Usually a jerk.  The other three?  Can't say except for two blew their heads off with shot guns, one more brother died of the coroner wouldn't say what and Gary died from smoking too many cigarettes soon after writing a book about what a shit his dad was.  The book really hurt Bing's image as a family man, but Bing was good and dead by that time.  I'd venture the book had more to do with the fact that the boys got a small amount from a trust set up by their mom who died in 1948 and Bing, seeing that they were disinclined to "work" in the real world set it up so they could not get any inheritance from him until they were in their 80s (none made it)  That "Der Bingle" thing?  Well, Crosby couldn't speak German, but he could act it, and that's what he did overseas during the war.  He would entertain the troops and then he would read propaganda over the radio to the German guys.  I think the Jerry's liked his singing too, so maybe he won that war.  He was a decent actor when you think about it.  Look at him in those Father O'Malley flicks.  What a slick priest!  Goes round extorting money from mean rich men and making choir boys out of hoodlums.  Got to admit, he was smooth.  Could have been all the pot. Well the movie is over and all I got was this dumb rap about Bing Crosby that's not even funny or that informative. Oh yeah, Bing was friends with Les Paul and gave him his first tape recorder; Lester put that to good use that is for sure.  Now don't sit here ruining your eyes reading my nonsense. You all go out and have an ice cream or something.


Ms. Moon said...

I enjoyed that piece immensely, even though I never did like old Bing that much. It's funny- the stars of yesteryear did not have to be very good-looking. Today, they do. Humphrey Bogart wouldn't have made it through the gate of the studio in today's looks-are-everything world. But then when you REALLY look at those old stars (well, maybe not Bing or Bob), you can see a beauty there that is unmatched in today's plastic world.
Check out Peter Lorre's unearthly face in Casablanca.
Whoa! Those eyes. The sadness of the universe resides there.
Tom Cruise? The sadness of the weird resides THERE.

mick said...

hey, even if its just for show like it was with bing, fonda, and even elvis, did ya ever notice (duh!)the hollywood'ers of today do not participate with the greater agenda of the USA. i wonder what the talliban will think/permit from the likes of our current front men/women? you have to admit bing was very in tune with his time and his future.

a'side from my previous and first idea i think bing was actually pretty progressive ... ergo ... "per romp a pom pom" ... really, crosby and bowie ... go figure.

but then again, he never did nut'n for me. o'hala!


p.s. WWJWD

Ms. Moon said...

WTF does WWJWD mean?
I know what WWJD mean, but what's the extra W in there stand for?

Ms. Moon said...

And do you think Jesus would sing with David Bowie?
Yeah. I do. Now that would be an act Id pay to see.

texino said...

I'm thinking the Mick is talking "The Duke" there.

Ms. Moon said...

Oh- I get it. Yeah, I don't like John Wayne either.
But you know what? I think I'd pay even more money to see HIM and David Bowie do a duet. Especially if it was Little Drummer Boy.
Now that would be cool.