Tuesday, September 18, 2007

usurious- ursine? 9/18? I can't bear it!

Oh hi, it is Texino.  Do I have less than perfect credit? Well, I guess I do since I have no SS# or job.  Therefore, I was not surprised to get this offer for a "Second Chance" unsecured-Master Card from some bank in that, Nevada of the East, Delaware.  I say Nevada, because there seem to be very few rules at work in "The First, but not the smallest state.  How do I know Delaware is not the smallest state?  Well for that tip, a big Texino Thanks goes out to Ms. Mary Emerson, a very close relation of mine who, on four separate occasions between 1958 and '60, sang this lyric during a succession of automobile trips: "Poor Little Rhode Island, Smallest of The 48." "Providence one day, stole my heart away." and that was, as they say, all she wrote. Even though Rhode Island is a well known "Mob" State, we are talking about Delaware here which is mobbed up in a completely different manner altogether, in that, for some reason or other, all sorts of shady business goes on there daily and no one seems to give a tinker's damn about it.  Let's talk about the First Bank of Delaware and their "innovative solutions."  OK? Fine.  Now we have old Texino here and let's say the kid is broke and needs "Credit"  You must have credit, right?  Everyone says so.  Used to be you could not pay by check without a credit card and DL for ID.  That's changed, but it's only because they can see if you have a history of bouncing checks and some places have a machine that treats your check like a debit card and yanks the dough right out of the account and gives you the check back.  Still, lots off people love to use credit cards like money and do not realize that it is really hard to pay them off.  In fact, if you have found it difficult to pay your credit card bills, the companies will make it almost impossible for you to do so by invoking small print clauses which let them run the interest up to like 33%, so you will end up paying them a few hundred bucks a month for ever.  People, being basically honest, do this.  Banks being legally dishonest, encourage it by trying to make you feel like dirt and when you are feeling good and dirty, they will come at you with something like this "second chance" card.  Let's have a look at this baby.  A gold Master Card. BFD.  Gold card means nothing.  OK. Now the interest rate is right at 20% so right off, 5 cents on every dollar you charge is going to be paid in interest before your balance drops and that is only if you pay the balance every month.  You won't because if you had the money to use a credit card the way it is supposed to be used, you would not be getting this offer. It even says on the ad, "If you have good credit, this may not be the best card for you" and what that means is, because you have bad credit,  you are going to be punished and the bank, assuming that you are a dummy, plans on getting away with it and here's how.  They charge a $99.00 setup fee, an $88.00 fee for something else, plus a $120.00 annual fee for which they kindly charge you $10 a month.  So, you are going to go into this credit contract by paying the bank around $300 to have a credit card with a $300 limit of which $261.40 will show up as charges the first month and since we assume you were broke to start with–––well you see where I'm going.  You get the offer, think Oh boy, a little break!  But no!  A big trap!  I'm calling usury which is fucking illegal, yet, for some reason it is legal here.  This is no different that the "vig" you pay a loan shark, and if you need a better explanation, google "pay day loans" which are pretty much modeled on loan sharking as practiced by Rocky Balboa in the movie Rocky.   Now to me usury sounds quite a lot like "usury" and anything ursine would be to do with your bear-like creature and we all know that any terror we ascribe to the bear is not misplaced.  What prey-tell, does September the 18 have to do with anything?  Oh that.  Well anyone, like me for instance, who follows the internet conspiracy topics, looking for material should be aware that for quite sometime the forces of good have been at work dismantling the evil creature from Jeckyll Island or as the semi-sane among us like to call it, The Federal Reserve Banking System and today is the day bar none 100% positive that we will be switching over to the much nicer treasury banking system and, check this out!  Due to the hassles involved with records and stuff, the folks in charge have decided to just wipe the slate clean and cancel ALL of your debt!
That's right.  Your mortgage, credit cards , student loans- every last little thing.  Now is that nice or what?  New banks!  New money!  It's all set.  I've been reading about this for months now and todays' the day; no fooling and you can set your clock by it.  Me?  Well I live in Panama, so I don't think I get any beans from this.  The rest of you coyotes, have a blast and when the check comes just smile and walk out.  Your money's no good here.  I mean really. No good.   According to experts like Patrick H. Bellringer (Yup it stands for Henry) of fourwinds10.com the new treasury banks will be open for business today.  Of course, when Pat says President Bush is really a shape shifting lizard, he means literally a reptile who can appear in different forms.  Hmmm, maybe that's a bad example.  OK, Pat says that we are not really fighting a war in Iraq.  You see, Spacemen in star ships have placed them where all the normal stars would be (the star ships) and they are just making you think we are fighting a war.  In reality all the troops are taken up into these space ships and well–– you need to google Mr. Bellringer and get his take on the world situation.  He is quite positive you see.  I guess I need to go to the bank.  You all be good and don't spent it all in one place, OK?  Fine.

1 comment:

Ms. Moon said...

I am so confused.