Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Hank Snow Island killer (secret message to the Canadians)

At's right. Mr. Hank Snow, The Singing Ranger from The Maritimes. The man is responsible for literally driving good solid maritime provinces from the shores of Canada and leaving the remaining populations terribly high strung. The provinces of which I speak include Newport, RI.; Martha's Vineyard, MA; The Channel Islands of CA. and most of Hawaii as well as the Philippines. A lot of good real estate has left the Commonweal due to Snow's weird habits of making up strange songs about rocket ships and squids and Filipino Eskimos. We are talking about actual islands just drifting away to other countries. In my opinion Canadians should unite to bring these homelands home. Snow's dead, he cannot hurt you anymore. Just think the surge of pride that could come from bringing the Islands home could do wonders for the poor souls in the remaining connected maritime lands, people like my friend Dane who goes ballistic at the suggestion that Canadian Baseball rules allow 5 strikes and Metal bats. It's just a joke Dane! Personally, I think it is a damn shame that Canadians can't seem to recall when these Islands were a part of the great lands north of Buffalo. Trust me, they were as Canadian as Leonard Cohen ,and while putting the land back on the Canadian Coastline may not be plausible, I should think a person with the power of The Presidency of The USA could probably put the titles right back in your pocket. Oh, you didn't know I was running for office? Well I am and it's a write in deal, soooo anyone who drops over the border
around election time might just nip into a polling place and write Texino on a ballot; as often as you want actually. If things work out for me, I wont forget you. Know what I'm saying? I am saying if you border boys help me in this election, I'll cede a bunch of valuable islands to Canada on the premise that they were originally yours. American Sovereignty? Screw that, I'm from Panama. Hows about you guys help me in Florida and maybe I give you Long Island! I tell you I'm ready to deal and there are plenty of hot properties here in the US that I can easily live without and would fit right in to cosmopolitan Canada. Like New Orleans for instance. Or Tampa, FL. Tampa/Toronto see what I mean? I say take some of these spots an infuse a little Canadian common sense and we will have two very fine countries at work.

Think it over. OK? Fine.

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