Saturday, January 26, 2008

Quick Sand and You!

Hi there, Texino here. How do you suppose that lady got mired in that big beach of quick sand? I guess you would call that a beach, wouldn't you? That's what you call a place where you have sand, right? Either that or a desert. So what is quick sand anyway, and how come you have probably never fallen in to any? Well first off, quick sand is not the same as quick rice or quick lime or even quick lunch. Nope, the name comes from the old fashioned term "quick" as in alive you know "the quick and the dead" "quick silver." in the old days when people had to come up with Churchy sorts of names for things they called this unstable granular liquefied substance "Quick" or "living" sands. You might think of quicksand as being like one of those Slurpee drinks; you know slushy flavored ice? If you can vision that, then you can see that if you suddenly got very small and then fell into one of those machines you could probably float because quick sand is just a sand Slurpee and being more dense than water floating would be pretty easy. Cold, but easy. So if you find yourself suddenly caught in quick sand just lie on your back and you will come right out. Quick sand is not very deep either but if you found yourself waist deep in the stuff getting without lying down would be really hard without the fire department coming along and squirting a big hose down by you legs to break the suction. It would work too. So what's going to happen to Lupe Valdez in the picture? Don't know because I've not seen it, but I'd say she's had it. Now if it were Esther Williams, she'd have back stroked out of there right about when I said "quick" used to mean alive. I suppose it still does, so I'm putting it in the Texino arsenal of asinine antiquated responses along with "That's what's the matter" ; Dis corporate" and many other out of date words and phrases which can be used to confuse and confound the enemies of speech and those too lazy to use "ing" endings. So when people ask how I might be "doin?" I may answer "Oh quick, very quick, thank you." OK? Fine I hope that you have enjoyed my little lecture on a little subject I know very little about, but through what I like to think of as "The Big Blog Collective Brain Process" by this time tomorrow, we should have the whole quick sand situation well in hand from the four corners of the globe to the seven seas, and that's what's the matter for this evening.

No comments: