Keep Smiling Sucker

OK, so Ms. Winehouse is at it again. Did a festival; was late; stayed up all night trashing the hotel and then having had a bottle of vodka for breakfast, had to be wrapped in a quilt and carried out to a waiting car. Well that's about as much as I can stand, so in aid of saving the world from another terrible star death I'm negotiating to have Winehouse boxed up and shipped to Texas where she will go to work picking cotton on half time and then spend the rest of the day under the guidance and instruction of Miss Martha Stewart at The Martha Stewart Ranch for Wayward Girls and Cotton Exchange. You all know I'll do anything for Miss Stewart. She's been damn good to me in more ways than I'll ever say. I've got my eyes on some more young ladies who might benefit from the Stewart treatment. Miley Ray Cyrus for one. Also that Nut Lindsey Lohan's not fooling me with her "Oh I'm gonna marry a girl" shit. She's a fucking actress and she's putting it over on that Ronson chick big time. Don't think Texino's hip to the Hollywood scene? Well you would be wrong. Sure I write for the Bluegrass rags cause that's where the money is. Don't mean I can't do a little A-listing when I need to. Ciao Kiddos